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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22675726">it has always been you, and it will always be you.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_g21/pseuds/m_g21'>m_g21</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GOT7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Domestic Fluff, F/M, M/M, Open to Interpretation, Temporarily Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 21:57:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22675726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_g21/pseuds/m_g21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngjae tries and fails to ignore his feelings for Jaebeom. What will happen when the repressed emotions surge on a December night?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Im Jaebum | JB/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it has always been you, and it will always be you.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One thing Youngjae hates the most is waiting. He thinks that time is precious one should not take for granted, especially now that his favorite musical show is going to start soon. Grunting loudly, he sat on the nearest bench and began to dial his best friend, Im Jaebeom.</p><p>“Jaebeom hyung, where the hell are you?” whined Youngjae. His legs started to become restless.</p><p>“Baby, I’m sorry. I had to cover up my co-worker’s shift for an hour because the guy who is supposed to replace him for this schedule didn’t come early. I also had to go home to feed Nora, Odd and Koonta. I’m already in the cab right now,” Jaebeom responded.</p><p>“Alright, but can you at least tell the taxi driver to drive faster? I’m afraid we’re going to be late. I’ve been waiting for months to watch this show,” pouted Youngjae. He knows he sounded childish, but he cannot help it.</p><p>“Youngjae…” sighed Jaebeom. “You know I cannot do that, baby,” he hesitantly added.</p><p>“I’m just joking, hyung. But where are you?” asked Youngjae.</p><p>“I’m ten minutes away from you. Can you wait for me, please? Yeah. See you, okay? Love you,” Jaebeom replied.</p><p>“Okay, love you too,” sighed Youngjae. He ended the phone call and looked up the sky. <em>The sky is pretty right now, </em>he thought. It was in the middle of December, so the weather is harsher than expected. Feeling bored, he scrapped the pebbles on the ground using his feet.</p><p>Jaebeom and Youngjae have been friends since middle school. The former is two years older than the other. They met in a musical club- Youngjae in the ballad division and Jaebeom in the rhythm and blues sector. Although they have different musical preferences, they still clicked and shared common interests.</p><p>Youngjae was thinking about the long queue in the theatre. He wondered if they can make it on time. Smoke keeps on coming out from Youngjae’s mouth when he exhales. He hugged himself when he heard his name called.</p><p>“Youngjae,” Jaebeom panted. Youngjae immediately stood up and faced Jaebeom. He secretly admires his best friend’s physical attributes- his black hair, down to his cat-like eyes and his sharp nose and cheekbones, and to his lips. He does not only adore this but also the way Jaebeom makes Youngjae feel special.</p><p>“I’m sorry if I’m late. I promise I won’t do it again,” Jaebeom worriedly added. He knows Youngjae tremendously hates waiting. He just hopes that Youngjae won’t stay mad at him for long.</p><p>“It’s okay, I understand. Let’s go now hyung, shall we?” Youngjae happily replied. He grabbed Jaebeom’s arm and walked towards the direction of the theatre.</p><p>
  <strong>_</strong>
</p><p>The queue was long that Youngjae starts to feel agitated. He could not stop looking further at the heads ahead. Suddenly, Jaebeom’s phone rang loudly. He turned to Youngjae and signals him that he needs to answer his phone. Youngjae nodded and Jaebeom walked away from him.</p><p>“Hi baby, I’m at …,” Youngjae overheard Jaebeom.</p><p>Jaebeom has a girlfriend for almost three years. He had been pinning over her four years ago. Now, he is 27, with a well-paid job, he is living the life he wants. Youngjae, on the other hand, has been living totally the opposite. He has been in love with Jaebeom for almost six years when he began to take care of Youngjae as a roommate. He cooked meals for him, washed his clothes, did the household chores, etc. On a Sunday morning, while talking to Jaebeom over breakfast, Youngjae realized that he has deeply fallen for him.</p><p>Biting his lip, Youngjae began to wonder what it is like to be in a relationship with Jaebeom. He has been doing this thousand of times. He knows they act like a couple- holding hands, cuddling while nuzzling his nose on his neck during the night, hugging him endlessly, and so on. But he also knows where he stands, he just chose to keep his feelings since he respects the relationship Jaebeom has.</p><p>Sighing loudly, he tapped his foot on the ground. He does not need this daydreaming now. He has been hurting himself lots of times, cried lots of times. Suddenly, someone hugged him from behind and kissed his head. He just knew them by the smell.</p><p>“Are you alright?” asked Youngjae. Jaebeom was still hugging him when he faced him. He looked up to his best friend and read his facial expressions. He seems like he is in deep thought, perplex perhaps, and troubled.</p><p>“Yes… actually no. Hyeojin asked my whereabouts and sought for my company. Apparently, she is going to have dinner tonight with her colleagues, and she wishes to introduce me to them,” answered Jaebeom.</p><p><em>Ah, another day. I’m always the second option, </em>Youngjae thought. “Then, did you tell her that I’m with you? That we are going to see this musical show together?”</p><p>“Yes, I did. I also informed her this is my birthday gift to you since I didn't come last September. She just simply told me, ‘okay, do whatever you want. Take care’. She sounded upset, you know? I hate it when I’m the reason for the dismay. I know she is an understanding and patient person, but I don’t like it to let her down,” explained Jaebeom.</p><p>“You can go if you want to,” Youngjae immediately said. <em>I don’t care</em>, he added. <em>But I also don’t want you to leave me.</em></p><p>Jaebeom studied Youngjae’s face for half a minute. <em>He is holding himself, </em>he thought. “Really? But how about this musical show? You’ve been waiting this for months,”</p><p>“I can watch by myself. Don’t worry hyung, I’ll be alright,” Youngjae pretends to smile brightly as he can.</p><p>“You’re the best, baby. Love you,” whispered Jaebeom. He immediately kissed the younger’s forehead and walked away.</p><p>
  <em>Baby? Bullshit.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>_</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>It was in the middle of the show when Youngjae’s phone suddenly beamed. It was an incoming call from Jaebeom. Youngjae ignored it thrice but it won’t stop. Getting annoyed, he went out of the theater room to answer him.</p><p>“Hyung, what is it?”</p><p>“Hey Youngjae, is the show still ongoing? I’m on my way there,”</p><p>“What? Why are you going here? Did something happen between you and Hyeojin?” <em>I don’t want to be a soundboard this night,</em> he added.</p><p>“No, I’m going there with Hyeojin. She recently became a fan of musical shows, so I thought it must be good to bring her with us,”</p><p>“What about the tickets?”, Youngjae immediately intervened. He doesn’t want to be a third wheel, nor he doesn’t want to see them together, and surely, he doesn’t want to ruin his day.</p><p>“I bought an extra one in case of emergency. You should have already known that I am a clumsy person. I’m afraid that I might lose one,” Jaebeom chuckled.</p><p>Youngjae didn’t find this situation amusing at all. For a hundredth time, he sighed. “Alright,”</p><p>“See you in five minutes,”</p><p>“Yeah, okay,”</p><p>
  <strong>_</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Youngjae was admiring the singers on the stage when the couple sat beside him. Jaebeom and Hyeojin waved at him. Youngjae silently greeted them by smiling. He could not trust his voice.</p><p>“Jae, how was it? Are you having fun?” Jaebeom whispered to his ear. He was so smiling brightly one could think it was for him. But only fools would believe that idea.</p><p>“Yes, I’m having fun hyung. Thank you. The singers are great, and the songs were beautifully sung,” Youngjae answered. Jaebeom clearly sensed that something is off, but he shrugged it off.</p><p>The show ended after thirty minutes, and most of the people are out of the theatre. Youngjae and the company stayed in their seats and opted not to mingle with the crowd. The former can hear Jaebeom’s girlfriend shrilling about the performance, and it’s starting to get in his nerves. <em>It’s been a long and tiring day. I can’t wait to go home and sleep, </em>Youngjae thought.</p><p>At last, they stood up and went out. Youngjae hurriedly went for the exit and hailed a taxi. He doesn’t care if his actions were childish. He just needs to go home. Unfortunately, whatever gods around him have other plans.</p><p>“Baby,” Jaebeom whispered. The older sounded serious that Youngjae can’t ignore him, so he turned to face him. “Wait for me at the apartment, okay? I just need Hyeojin to drop off hers,”</p><p>“Yeah, whatever. I’m just tired s’all,”</p><p>“I’m sorry if I ruined your day. It’s just I can’t choose between you and –“ Jaebeom was immediately cut-off by the taxi driver asking the younger if he’s going to ride or not.</p><p>“See you later. Bye,”</p><p>“Bye,” but Jaebeom’s words were never heard.</p><p>
  <strong>_</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Youngjae had apparently fallen asleep because he felt someone’s arms around his waist. Those hands were slightly pinching his baby fats on his belly and caressing it softly. Then, the body slowly snuggled closer to him. Their nose is nuzzling into his neck and inhaled deeply his scent. He heard a contented sigh.</p><p>“Are you awake?” Jaebeom asked.</p><p>“Hmm…”</p><p>“I want to clarify some things today. Can you turn around? Let’s talk, please?” Jaebeom. His voice dropped an octave lower, sounding concern as he hesitantly asked. Jaebeom was worried he pissed off Youngjae today.</p><p>“We can talk tomorrow morning, hyung. I’m just really tired right now,”</p><p>“Baby-”</p><p>“Don’t call me that if it doesn’t mean anything,” Youngjae quickly interrupted as he faced Jaebeom. He unintentionally scowled at his best friend. <em>I’m tired… so tired of hearing these meaningless endearments and actions… wherein fact I don’t stand a chance…</em></p><p>“Can we stop what we’re doing hyung, please?”</p><p>Jaebeom was beyond confused. He didn’t know why Youngjae is suddenly acting this way. <em>Perhaps because of today’s event? </em>he thought. He knew that the musical show is important to Youngjae. Heck, the younger kept on talking about it for months. <em>Or was it because I left? Or worse, was it because I brought my girlfriend?</em></p><p>His train of thought halted when Youngjae suddenly stood up and changed clothes. The younger seems to be in a hurry to go out, but Jaebeom was quicker. He pulled Youngjae down to the bed and tightly hugged him. He is not stupid enough to ignore something is off.</p><p>“Weff oh,” Youngjae muffled on the older’s chest.</p><p>“What?” Jaebeom chuckled. He really finds this situation amusing. <em>Ah, he is so cute.</em></p><p>“I said let go,” Youngjae glared at Jaebeom. He keeps on wriggling out of the Jaebeom’s arms, but no to avail.</p><p>“Whatever pissed you off, can you tell me, please? I promise I will fix it,” Jaebeom whispered against Youngjae’s forehead while caressing Youngjae’s right cheek.</p><p><em>It won’t fix anything, </em>Youngjae thought. <em>It might be best if I will run away.</em></p><p>“Youngjae, baby… please…” Jaebeom pleaded. A tear fell off from Jaebeom’s eyes but Youngjae didn’t notice it.</p><p>“Hyung, I’m just so tired…”</p><p>“Tired of what?”</p><p>“Tired of this unrequited love…”</p><p>Jaebeom fell silent. <em>Unrequited love? What?</em> <em>Does that mean… Youngjae is in love with me? </em>, he bemused. Suddenly, all the vague moments spent together with Youngjae and Hyeojin seem to fit together. The strained smile Youngjae gives whenever he mentions Hyeojin, the fake happiness he always portrays, the not-so-subtle rejection he does whenever the older invites him with Hyeojin. <em>Has he always been doing this fake façade the whole time?</em></p><p>“If you have nothing to say, let’s just forget this happened, hyung. That I indirectly admitted my feelings for you. You’re happy with Hyeojin and that’s all matters,” Youngjae smiled at him, but his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. <em>I’ve been doing this for long and I still can endure it,</em> he wanted to add but opted not to.</p><p>Jaebeom slightly smiled. Yes, he admits that he is happy with Hyeojin. He cherished all the moments they spent together- from their first date down to their first intimate sex. <em>Then, why am I suddenly sad?</em></p><p>Youngjae looked up to the ceiling and silently cried for the third time of the day. He knew that he doesn’t stand a chance against Hyeojin. He is just a freelance singer at weddings or events. Sometimes he teaches vocals. Hyeojin, on the other hand, is an epitome of every man’s dream- pretty, understanding, patient, a businesswoman, and so forth. <em>But I’m still hoping Jaebeom would choose me over her, but I guess it’s over, </em>he sarcastically chuckled.</p><p>Youngjae shifted his position to sitting. They fell silent afterwards, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Youngjae stood up to get a glass of water, and Jaebeom quickly followed. The older stood behind Youngjae and hesitantly hugged him. He felt Youngjae flinched but chose to ignore it. He rested his chin on the younger’s shoulder and nuzzled his jaw.</p><p>“Can you wait for me?” Jaebeom whispered against his skin. He felt Youngjae nodded.</p><p>“Yes, hyung. I’ve been waiting for you the whole time and I believe I can still do that,” Youngjae smiled at him.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, I'm back with another fic... again.</p><p>I'm supposed to read academic-related articles but my mind gets easily distracted. So I wrote this yesterday after my thoughts wandered to some certain scenarios that fit Youngjae and Jaebeom's personality (based on what I've noticed). This fic is somewhat special since I really want to write a happy ending for Youngjae, but I'm afraid I might overdo it, so I chose to end it with this scenario. </p><p>Anyway, it's difficult to write when you care for someone's well-being - in this case, Youngjae. I had to stop writing countless of times to prevent myself from hurting. My initial plan was to write a chill genre fic, but surprises come along the way.</p><p>It's also hard to classify which tags fit. Sorry.</p><p>I'm still editing this from time to time, especially the grammar and correct terminology. Don't worry, it has the same thought.</p><p>I hope you like it. Kindly leave some comments if you think my writing skills need improvement. You can freely ask anything, just click on the hyperlink below:</p><p>cc: <a href="https://curiouscat.me/msguimalan"> :) </a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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